


Taxing Orac

by JackieSBlake7



Category: Blake's 7
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-06-10
Updated: 2016-06-10
Packaged: 2018-07-14 05:58:18
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,026
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7156385
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/JackieSBlake7/pseuds/JackieSBlake7
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A slightly different perspective on the series.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Taxing Orac

Taxing Orac  
Jackie

(Dates and attachments – including forms and workings out omitted to save cybertrees. Messages whose content is obvious have not been included.)

Sequence 1:  
From: Federation Tax Department  
To: Residents, The Liberator

It has come to our attention that a number of persons [listed] are on the Liberator being Federation citizens and have not paid taxes since… [dates].  
Please provide full details of names, income and other information as indicated for all persons on the above spaceship, on the attached forms [to be filled in centuplicate, with much information to be included that even the Tax Department has forgotten the original purpose of requesting. It sees no reason to delete the questions, as the details may at some time in the future be useful – even if just to start the next round of inquiries, whether or not due to inconsistencies arising].  
Indicate previous owners and point of origin of the Liberator, so all transfer forms and taxes have been appropriately dealt with.  
If any of the above are presently residing on any of the following categories of planets, for which automatic exemption applies, please indicate on relevant forms: designated prison planets, open planets, Star One Extra-Galactic Defence Shield and Computer Hub…  
{The Scorpio was later to be an accidental victim of Gauda Prime’s anti-taxation-external-intervention policy. The Federation Tax Department knew all along where Star One was – following long discussions on the most tax efficient way of accounting for it, all sides disagreeing upon the meanings of the word efficient – but nobody cared to ask it.}

From: Orac, The Liberator  
To: Federation Tax Department.

As rebels, the several Federation citizens on board the ship have no obligation to pay taxes.  
Nor do resident aliens or computers (whether or not the latter are constructed by Federation citizens, whether or not such persons are in exile at the time of construction, and regardless of the computers’ capacity and capabilities and future potential).  
Here is a detailed analysis of your forms, and how they can be presented in a more computer friendly form. {Being considerably more complex than anything the tax department staff could devise and in some places being incomprehensible even to them, given the number of subordinate clauses and multiple exclusions and inclusions.}

From: Federation Tax Department  
To: Orac, The Liberator

The information still has to be provided.  
A 10% discount will be allowed to you, Orac, in lieu of payment for creating a more complex tax form system than presently existing: further updates will likewise be paid for (subject to usual taxes).

From: Orac, The Liberator  
To: Federation Tax Department

As will be observed from the attached documentation no tax payments are necessary.  
The Liberator has been registered as a company in the following places [being tax havens]. The following tax-reducing measures have been adopted. [list]…

From: Federation Tax Department  
To: Orac, The Liberator

By our reckoning the following should be disallowed: [list]

{Several dozen messages follow with Orac and the Tax Department being determined not to blink first.}

From: Orac, The Liberator  
To: Federation Tax Department

By my #very thorough# calculations (I suggest you consider [very long list of sections, subsections, exemptions and other confusions, and historically-non-revoked clauses] as well as the costs of your time and resources, as well as mine) I have determined that the humans on The Liberator owe one credit between them – handling charges 5 credits.

As you have [x trillion] tax demands to deal with, and your trivial requests are even more of a waste of my time than those I normally handle, I suggest you consider the following records of accounts and monetary movements thereto and therefrom. [Information on assorted senior Federation administrators, some of whom had not been as careful as they should have been in covering their tracks – accounts handling was not part of their training. Orac had been saving such information, largely on its own initiative, for use in appropriate situations. It was finding that senior administration figures preferred attempting to eliminate potential rivals from climbing the greasy pole to “dealing with” rebels, and was deciding how best to use the situation to suit various ends.]

For a charge of 10 000 credits I will prepare deductions-from-salaries schedules for these persons.  
For a similar charge I will resolve the inherent contradictions contained in the following documents…

From: Federation Tax Department  
To: Orac, The Liberator, Employee Number [xxx]  
CC: Tax Avoidance Specialists Firm No 53 (in which transmitting tax official planned to go to on official retirement)

You have been assigned the above Employee Number (please fill out attached application form, so pay, tax codes, and pension rights can be assigned) so you can be granted the Employee of the Decade award, for your activities. We had not, prior to this happy encounter, been able to demand more in tax from a Space Commander – let alone a Supreme Commander – than they actually #officially# earned (plus back tax, interest on unpaid back tax, fines for not paying said taxes, fines for undeclared incomes, interest on said fines etc).  
What are the charges for actually increasing the number of seeming contradictions in documents?

[Various discussions on Orac’s age, pension rights etc follow]

From: Federation Tax Department  
To: President of the Federation  
Please clarify relationship with Space City.  
Also clarify status of “Moon Discs” which appear to be a protected species, but are presently being “farmed” for purposes unknown – one of the zones in which they are known to live having been subject to significant recent damage. Copies of documents will be passed to relevant species protection agencies and environmental monitoring groups. {Some of which had been infiltrated by rebels and others attempting to rearrange the Federation: the legislation associated with such bodies could be used to thwart some of the administration’s activities by creating logical loops through negative publicity. There was a cordial working arrangement between the Tax Department and these groups as there was a certain degree of overlap between their severally viewed “offenders.”} [The Moon Discs had, actually, been “discovered” by the Space Rats – and considered participating in “races for betting” a reasonable price to pay for being transported to a range of potential environments for colonisation. The mechanics of arranging interplanetary sporting events on their own account among the Moon Disc groups required much negotiation]

From: Federation Tax Department  
To: Supreme Commander Servalan

Please identify the present owners of Former Central Control Buildings, so relevant tax schedules can be prepared: damages to Tax Department equipment caused by the remains of the ElectroSecureNet will be charged for at the full rate, plus interest, plus other charges as specified.  
You, one Space Commander Travis and several mutoids are recorded as being the most recent occupants of Cottage One, Central Control Lane: unpaid rates amount to xxx credits, handling charge on behalf of relevant departments. If you are not responsible for any aspects, please supply full supporting paperwork (originals required, and may take several months to be returned)…

From: Federation Tax Department  
To: Supreme Commander Servalan

More information will have to be provided on damage to Central Control and repairs thereto.  
Ditto Space Command.  
Claims that the latter was damaged by “the rebel ship Liberator” are disallowed – the automatic recordings have been #very# crudely tampered with to insert a brief visual clip of the ship, which appears, fires and vanishes without affecting other recording devices. Five year old “advisors and obvious error spotters” were able to create a much superior equivalent in minutes.  
Of the last 153 claims on damage to Space Command, [x] have been proved to be the result of pilots attempting tricks with new ships, [y] the result of “kitchen related disasters” {several of which were actually sabotage by visitors in vain attempts to improve the “service” provided}, [z] the result of demarcation disputes and attempts to transfer away from certain incoming persons, [w] interior decoration related… Most, as the attached schedule indicates, have been disallowed…

From: Federation Tax Department  
To: Supreme Commander Servalan

All moneys spent at Freedom City are automatically charged to personal expenditure. Authorisation has to be acquired beforehand for expenditure to be deemed legitimate – maximum Credit 9.54 per day, and total Credits 83.79…

From: Federation Tax Department  
To: Supreme Commander/President Servalan

Costs of organising and staging a coup cannot be charged against tax…  
The Chengans claim that the consignment of goods agreed upon was not received. As from the ships’ manifests the goods #did# leave the designated stores, export taxes will still have to be paid…  
There are no allowances for reviving computers previously used before Central Control was established: they are perfectly serviceable for the purposes required, and standard maintenance procedures #have# been carried out. [Documents quoted.] It is recommended that reputable sources are used for the upgrades, as damage to machinery caused by installation of programming from unauthorised sources cannot be offset against tax…  
It should be noted that Federation Tax Department has a higher option on such equipment than the Presidential Office.

From: Federation Tax Department  
To: President Servalan

[Part of an ongoing discussion on what Servalan should be “persuaded” to pay.]  
The resale of second-hand clothing and lighting cannot be set off against tax, but, in fact, attracts a further appropriation of…  
Given the cost of Residence One, and the fact that money was diverted from the following projects [list], the following expenditures will be treated as unearned income…  
We have been informed by the relevant insurers that “damage to above-mentioned buildings caused during invasion by rebels and those attempting coups (separately or together)” is excluded from their claims resolutions.

From: Federation Tax Department  
To: President Servalan

Please provide receipts for acquisition of two spaceships specified: merely stating “acquired on Sardos” is not satisfactory. Sales tax will have to be added – and please state relevant local taxation authorities, so due arrangements can be made…

From: Federation Tax Department  
To: President Servalan

We have been informed that the “double taxation rules” with regards to Teal and Vandor have been specifically revoked with respect to the Presidency of the Federation, and so you have to pay taxes as follows: To Federation, To Teal, to Vandor, to Teal via Vandor, To Vandor via…’ [assorted forms of double and multiple taxation used, in this case, by some 25 legal entities out of a potentially much larger number – independent planets, groupings and the Federation etc – for accounting purposes and which normally worked out at zero, apart from when used against people who had annoyed any one of them – the number of planets involved depended in part upon the annoyance caused ]  
Please note that for historical reasons the calendars of Teal and Vandor differ from Federation standard (and each other), and that the accounts to be paid in both places are now overdue and an excess will have to be paid…

From: Krantor, Freedom City  
To: Presiden(o)t Servalan  
Unless gambling debts and other charges are paid within 48 Freedom City Hours (being significantly shorter than Standard Hours, and normally used in connection with spaceship parking fees and hotels booked for sessions by the hour), you will have to face the consequences…  
Interest will be charged at… [A half-credit short on a ‘vastly over priced’ pseudo-cocktail and a centicredit borrowed for a slot machine now equals a significant fraction of the cost of Residence One.]

[What happened on Gedden was actually an attempt at mass tax and other deductions avoidance and/or evasion by a variety of administrators by feigning death in battle.]

From: Federation Tax Department  
To: Present Occupants, Subterranean Buildings 53, Terminal  
Residence fees are…  
We have been authorised to tell you that, given local geological instability, insurance fees are… They have to be paid #in advance# or penalty fee applies.

Sequence 2  
From: Federation Tax Department  
To: Commissioner Sleer

Please explain the claim for 3 000 vem in your expenditure – and supply a conversion rate.  
Also define what goods were being paid for.

From: Krantor, Freedom City  
To: President, Federation  
Gambling debts owed by sometime President Servalan still have to be paid, as death has not actually been proved.  
[Bayban had been hired by the Federation in an attempt to get at least a fraction of the money from any sources not otherwise accounted for, but was pursuing his own interests – all of which were being claimed against tax.]

From: Federation Tax Department  
To: Commissioner Sleer

It has come to our attention that you were in charge of a consignment of “black gold” – and that the re-converted gold weighs less than the original shipment by a factor of 3:4.

Please provide a full explanation.

You have still not accounted for the 3 000 vem.

{Orac, making use of some trivial knowledge passed on by Vila, had provided pre- and post- conversion weights in Troy pounds (of 12 ounces) and Avoirdupois pounds (of 16 slightly different ounces) respectively – figures rounded for convenience}. It had decided that causing Servalan/Sleer persisting minor annoyance was the best way to carry out the various requirements on the subject of both Ensor and Avon.]

From: Krantor, Freedom City  
To: President, Federation  
The “Caspar Space Rats” were acting on their own initiative in this case. Any claims to be taking money on my behalf are hereby discounted.  
Any claims on items taken from Space Rats by rebels are also discounted (especially as there is no proof that said persons were Federation rebels, or that they acquired the equipment in question, or if they did, that it came via the Caspar Space Rats) from discussions involving the Federation.  
[The Space Rats were financing their activities by acting as debt collectors for various bodies, at rates vastly favourable to themselves.]

From: Federation Tax Department  
To: Commissioner Sleer

Please account for black gold and vems.

A penalty fine is now operational for the latter.

Expenses on Betafarl are disallowed. Documentation has to be signed by Zukan in person (specimen signatures of such dignitaries held at Tax Office to counter fraud).

Your presence at Tax Office [details] is required by [dd/mm/yy]. Hours of opening are (9-9.30 am, Mondays and Fridays, except for next month, when it is Wednesdays, 9-9.15 pm).

From Krantor, Freedom City  
To: “Caspar Space Rats”  
Your methods for extracting money from the Federation appear to be effective.  
As your costs for doing so are lower than Freedom City, please reduce “handling fee” to less than ours.  
Your cosmetics merchants do not cater for persons of a more distinguished age and appearance. This is, I am sure, an oversight on their part. Could you see that this is rectified – and if you wish to “bend” said persons that is on your own account.  
Methods used by Space Rats while visiting casinos to even the odds are jejune rather than interesting, but keep security and others alert. “Breaking the bank” is a technical term involving the table croupier’s cash holdings, and does not involve physical damage…  
[Various non-relevant discussions follow]

From: Federation Tax Department  
To: Commissioner Sleer

Your excuses about being unable to get to the Tax Office on time are rejected as specious. (See attached timetables for getting from #where you state you are# to Tax Office).  
[Servalan was trying to persuade various of Zukan’s neighbours and others contacted by those on Xenon – this being one of a sequence of conferences – to yield information on the whereabouts of Avon and associates. Most of these warlords could play even dirtier than she, and decided what she was offering was insufficient for what she wished to achieve, and was, in fact, an insult to their individual and collective dignity. The various warlords – in communication with each other and with rebels and opponents of the regime – were getting somewhat annoyed with the Federation’s heavy-handed interference, and were making arrangements to rearrange the whole system to benefit of those participating: that the Federation citizens preferred the system being created was entirely incidental. Encouraging people to concentrate on amusing themselves and generating incomes which could be taxed – rather than using suppressant drugs and violence – was seen as a perfectly rational policy, and had the support of the Tax Department. Many of those involved had had – or claimed they had – come up with this idea, but were not prepared to accept the suggestion from any of their theoretical equals – but would do so from the stated non-would-be-participant Orac.]

“Claiming to be looking for Roj Blake/Kerr Avon and associates” was rejected as an excuse the first time it was applied. If you had requested the information their present addresses for tax purposes would have been provided. Details follow…

From: Federation Tax Department  
To: Commissioner Sleer

Please explain statement that The Liberator no longer exists.

Fines for late and non-payment of taxes etc and interest thereon now total…

From: Federation Tax Department  
To: Commissioner Sleer

You #are# perfectly at liberty to claim you are sometime-Supreme Commander and President Servalan (so long as this is not done for criminal purposes) – especially if you can provide #very thorough# documentation. Please note you will then be liable for her tax payments (which would now total Credits xxx, with compound interest being applied). You are also likely, though this is outside the normal remit of the Tax Department to say so, to face copyright infringement claims from the Church of Servalan the Magnificent and of Perpetual Indulgence and several other such bodies…

From: Federation Tax Department  
To: Church of Servalan the Magnificent and of Perpetual Indulgence (repeated to various similar establishments, details altered as appropriate).

Costs of court cases against persons claiming to be Servalan the Magnificent are not tax deductible…  
Excommunicating the Tax Department incurs a fine of [xx] credits. Pronouncing anathema, should you choose to proceed by that route, will incur a fine of [yyy] credits. Prayers for the well-being of Tax Department staff are rated at 0.25 credits apiece (documentary evidence required).  
As all members of the Tax Department past, present and to be recruited for many generations, have been allocated several future sainthoods from different sources, and also remission of time from various hells and purgatories with regard to various potential and sometimes improbable or conflicting sins, for longer than the expected lifespan of the universe, neither of these options can be considered in lieu of tax…

Sequence 3  
From: Federation Tax Department  
To: President, Presidential Office

We have been informed by out-station civil servant Orac that the Federation is, technically, bankrupt (‘and whether it is also morally bankrupt is not with my [Orac’s] capacity to state’ – nor the Tax Department’s). According to the Government Accountants, using figures provided by the above-mentioned officer, this does appear to be true – Federation revenues have been spent on expansionism, construction of presidential palaces, suppressant drugs and suchlike rather than on investment, which has had a negative effect on income generation. [The funds thus acquired by the several companies involved had been invested by those with any eye on the future in Alternative Governments Unlimited and similar organisations, and in firms supplying goods that the masses and middle classes actually want or require.] The Federation now ranks 98th out of 100 regional organisations within the galaxy (and 120th out of 128 when bodies in the galactic satellites are included) – whether companies or administrative-political entities – and is likely to rank last by a significant factor in the immediate future. It is suggested that this situation be rectified immediately, or the Tax Department will not be able to meet current running costs.  
It is suggested that the Federation be formally wound up: ‘Big Wheel Unlimited’, Black Leather Unlimited, Roj Blake (Gauda Prime) Incorporated and Xenon Base Limited (premises formerly occupied by Dorian Designs) and other bodies listed in the appendix – several of which are currently in negotiation for mergers – are arranging a corporate buy out.  
{Orac had got bored of the rebels’ activities which were distracting it from more important things – including reading slushy novels, enjoying obscure music and films, and attempting to win the Computer Bad Poetry award, so had “dealt with” the situation accordingly after Gauda Prime. It had made use of several of Vila’s number games involving dishonest butlers and rearranging quantities of items and similar activities to disguise where the moneys and revenues actually were. The Federation’s finances had been obscure at the best of times. Orac had developed a more efficient system – in its terms – which enabled the Federation’s actual income to be devoted to maintaining the necessary structure, and, by diverting moneys away from suppressant drugs and similar freed significant sums for promoting research and development and the arts; the rebels – especially those with artistic pretensions – were prepared to accept the latter investment. In the late 20th-early 21st centuries “some companies” have larger turnovers than the GDP of “some states”.]  
nb Belkov Partnership is making approaches offering directorships in regards of various companies. Government Accountants suggest all due caution be taken.

From: Federation Tax Department  
To: Ex-President…  
You #were# given due warning as to Belkov’s capacities. Profits tax is calculated as… Please pay by…

From: Federation Tax Department  
To: The Lord Thaarn  
Please provide evidence of divinity. The relevant tax schedules are attached.  
[Previous comments on prayers etc repeated.]

From: Federation Tax Department  
To: Terra Nostra, Space City  
Various tax and other demands have been herein amalgamated.  
Immediate payment is requested.  
It appears that certain payments fall foul of money-laundering and similar legislation.  
Fines for trading in endangered species (Moondiscs and others) amount to…  
{As with Al Capone in 1931, the Terra Nostra was brought down through taxation issues.} 

From: Federation Tax Department  
Spaceworld Tax Schedule  
Retroactive building permission for construction of Space World involves charges of…  
Back tax and interest for (severely inflated estimate number of) persons. Please supply supporting detail for actual numbers if different.

From: Federation Tax Department  
To: Space World  
Being neuronically linked to Space World Computers has no effect on individual taxation.

From: Federation Tax Department  
To: Representatives, Federation and Rebel   
Taxable allowances for use in the newly established local/Federation versions of the Teal-Vandor Agreement battleground simulator are as follows…

From: Federation Tax Department  
To: Andromeda Outpost One  
By the Intra-galactic Conventions of… and… we are entitled to tax all groupings coming within Federation territories not otherwise accounted for.

Being shapeshifters does not allow you to multiple tax allowances on clothing…

From: Federation Tax Department  
To: Orac  
Please clarify #your# tax form…  
As you are fully aware, after much discussion it was decided that sentient computers be taxed according to operating system, capacity and programmes in use.  
#You# might claim to be the most advanced computer in the galaxy: we cannot possibly comment, and draw your attention to the following computers whose capacities in the indicated areas appear to exceed your own… (You can claim the following for upgrades…)

From: Federation Tax Department  
To: Slave (Computer, Small Ship Class)  
Your computer code returns are made using a now outdated system of computer code, and make reference to other such.  
Providing access to such systems (as a form of data encryption) will lead to an automatic reduction in tax payable.

[As a result of various sentient computers attempting to claim the relevant tax reduction allowances, the Federation Tax Department ended up with a ‘system’ composed of a Babbage differential calculus machine the ‘memory’ being provided by tally sticks. Space Command suffered significant damage following an incident involving accumulated tally sticks and spillages from a birthday party. Followed a box of tally sticks being dropped, returned haphazard and misread, and Orac’s multiple-confusion figures, it was assumed that the Federation could no longer afford the remaining use of suppressant drugs and visible military presence. As a result a degree of financial and other autonomy was granted to all planets requesting it, building in part on the activities of the local leaders in these areas. The benefits in increased revenue, lower costs, and greater support for the Federation apparent by the time the mistake was realised resulted in the administration claiming that this had been its intention all along. The rebels – now mostly respectable critics of, and contributors to the reform of, the regime – decided it was more politic to accept the situation than admit their goals had been achieved by an accident.]


End file.
